The Dolphins have signed Jake Long as the first pick of the NFL draft to a contract that is really effing big. Like $30 millski guaranteed big. As a die hard ‘Phins fan for all of my 26 years, I must say the only thing I am disappointed about with this signing is how anticlimactic it has made Saturday for me. It comes down to longevity. In an especially weak draft (we’ve been saying that a lot lately, huh?), I will take that guy you know with certainty is going to give you 10+ solid years and is good for at least six Pro Bowls. The idea of McFadden was cute, but is the guy a QB or an RB? And once he moves to RB and the threat of not throwing is gone, will be be able to succeed? My guess is, yes, he will be pretty good. But a lot of RBs nowadays are pretty good. It comes down to the line you are running behind. And without the addition of Jake Long, Run DMC isn’t going anywhere in Miami. Should he go to Dallas, he’ll run all day on that turf… for a few years. Then his career will slide as most 27-year-old RBs do. All in all, I am happy with this pick. Here’s to doubling last years win total! Cheers.

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Miami Dolphin, Reagan Mauia, was arrested after punching a man at a bar in South Florida (actually, a pretty sweet bar that I have frequented many, many times.

Blurb:

“the incident occurred in the parking lot of the Carolina Ale House, located at 2618 Weston Road, just before midnight. Mauia, 23, punched a man in the face, ‘causing the victim to pass out and fall to the ground,’ according to the affidavit.”

Just as Mauia was driving away, someone snapped a picture of his license plate, which the cops used to get his address and arrest him later in the night. Jackass.

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Is there anything better than the Marlins being 6-3, while the Detroit Tigers, with all of the Marlins talent from the last few years, are 1-8? Granted, the the majority of the wins have been at the hands of perennial boners, like the Nationals and the Pirates, but the NL has so many weak teams, you never know…

Anyways, will the Marlins be able to keep it up? Vote here!

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I’m not buying it. No fucking way. If Ray Finkle comes back to Dolphins Stadium to take place in a bullshit ceremonial tribute, he’s done.

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Let’s just say I had many reasons to be rooting for UNC Saturday night. I picked all four of the final four teams, as this was the most obvious top heavy bracket in NCAA history, and I had UNC over Memphis in the finals. This was to be a brilliant decision on my part, so that when the two matched up, I would hedge my bet by placing almost half my possible winnings on Memphis, who would be the underdog by a few points, giving me about +140 on my money.

Then, Saturday rolled around. I was glued to ESPN and CBS all day, absorbing as much coverage as possible. Although Memphis was less favored than UNC was, I was much more concerned for the UNC game. Let’s face it, UCLA is garbage, and won three games on bad calls towards the end of the season. Kansas, although having the easiest road to the final four, never looked that impressive, but won all their games fairly, and has the talent to compete with anybody.

On ESPN, they showed all teams’ Saturday morning breakfasts. Kansas seemed pretty loose and a bit hyped up. UNC seemed like a bunch of guys waiting to find out if they were positive or negative for HIV. I was worried.

Memphis man-handled UCLA, and I was officially shitting myself. All I need is the top ranked team in the country to win one more game, and I am set! The teams are coming out of the tunnels, and Kansas is still hyped up, while UNC still looks like they just received lobotomies. Immediately after seeing both teams come onto the court, I told my girlfriend and mom “I am fucked.” I was right. UNC just didn’t have it. Was it coaching? Was it the players? Why weren’t they properly motivated? Why couldn’t they hit 5 foot jumpers or any threes in the first half? Why were they ridiculously careless on passes? So many questions, so few answers, and who loses? Me.

Fuck.

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Derrick Rose.

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If you told me the Marlins would start the season 2-2, while beginning the season with three games against the Mets, I would’ve thought you were crazy. But that’s where they are, after two wins by walk off homeruns. Kick ass Marlins, kick ass.

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