So last night, I’m putting on the Heat game, only to find out that KG is out with some sort of abdominal muscle issue, and Ray Allen was out with flu-like symptoms (ie. a case of the South Beachies). I get ridiculously excited that we have a great shot at winning two in a row, that which could possibly propel us to go on a streak and get the 7th or 8th seed of the playoffs. Damn, was I wrong or what?

Last night was one of the most pathetic performances of professional basketball I have ever seen in my life, by everyone. Dorrell Wright missing two-on-zero layups, Wade not being able to find the hoop, bricks being put up left and right, absolutely no defense, this is as bad as it gets folks. We sold our souls for Shaq, got an overweight champion way past his prime, and a bunch of scrubs that probably wouldn’t be playing on any other team out there.

You really have to feel for D. Wade, though. Granted, he had an awful game last night, but the man has been lights out in the past month. The only thing this is comparable to is if you were the manager of a large company and had monkeys below you. No matter what the man does, like scoring 42 points against the Cavs, no one else on the team helps him out.

So during the second half of the Heat game, I am flipping to the ‘Canes at Wake Forest. Honestly, this team is a heartbreak waiting to happen every night. We are down the entire second half, tie it up AND get the ball with around 60 seconds left, have two guys under the hoop with no defenders around him, all the guy has to do is drop the ball in the bucket, and of course puts too much on it and it bounces out. Wake gets the ball back, turns it over, but our guy kicks it out of bounds. They get it back with no shot clock, hit a shot leaving us with 3 seconds, and we don’t get anything off.

Welcome to Miami sports, 07-08.

PS. Can Riley just man up and resign?

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Alright everyone, I have the key to victory for the Heat tonight against the Boston Celtics. . . this one might come as a shocker, so here goes nothing:

If the Heat want to win tonight, someone whose name doesn’t rhyme with "plain suede" needs to step up and have a good game.

Alright, let’s make it happen.

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When this video showed up in my email box, I thought “this is just wrong”, but at about 90 seconds into the video, when this guy gets hit in the nuts, I quickly remembered how funny this concept is. Check out how after the guy is on the ground, like 5 seconds later, another tennis ball gets fired at him, as if he would still be standing after the first impact.

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Eli Manning has a message to NY Giants fans. . . take his advice, bet on the ‘Pats! Click here to see his letter.

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Heat win Saturday, ‘Canes on Sunday, pinch me, I must be f*cking dreaming! If you told me the Heat coule win a game with Wade only scoring 35 points, I wouldn’t believe you. If you told me the ‘Canes could win another conference game, I’d punch you in the face.

Rejoice for now, Miami fans, but the road is only getting tougher. The Heat have three games in the next four nights against Boston, Orlando, and New Jersey, while the ‘Canes have ridiculous tough challenges ahead against the ACC.

Good luck boys.

In even more great news, football recruiting for the ‘Canes is looking sick. Here is some information Brody compiled from a guy who knows his stuff on the Canes Insider:

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The New England Patriots are not only one of the best teams to ever play to game, they are also one of the luckiest. Interceptions on defense fall into their hands, Potential interceptions on offense fall to the ground in the middle of five defenders, all the calls go their way, and this happened to be a season that had a bye week before the Super Bowl.

Reports are stating that had the Super Bowl been played yesterday, Tom Brady likely wouldn’t have gotten the start because of his ankle injury. I have seen Matt Cassel play this year, coming in the relieve Brady of his duties after being up by multiple touchdowns on my ‘Phins, and let me tell you, this guy wouldn’t even make the practice squad with Miami. I don’t care how great the Patriots are, if Tom Brady doesn’t play in the big game, the ‘Pats have no chance.

It’s no secret I am rooting for Giants, which pains me, because I hate New York sports (at least it’s not the Jets). But if Brady doesn’t get in T.O.’s freaky hyperbaric chamber, perfection may have to wait another 35 years.

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So last night I was in attendance as the Heat broke the Dolphins season record of 14 losses in a row, against the San Antonio Spurs. Halfway through the second quarter, none other than Chad Johnson comes down the aisle with two girls and a big dude I’m assuming was one of his offensive linemen. I didn’t actually get a good look at his face, so I wasn’t sure if it really was Ocho Cinco, until my friend yelled the aforementioned name in his direction, prompting him to look up at us.

At halftime, a ton of little kids came up to him asking for autographs, and he sent them away. 10 minutes later, a new group came up to him, asking him for more, and he kindly obliged to sign a couple of them. I was close by, and asked if I could see his grill for a picture. He glanced a me with a pissed off look on his face, and I snapped a pic as his tongue was sticking out (I’ll put it up next week). After signing two autographs, he asked the Event Staff lady to stop letting people through. He was clearly annoyed by the entire situation, even though not that many people were harrassing him.

After the game, a couple guys yelled "ocho cinco!", "Future Hall of Famer!", etc., etc., etc., at him as he was leaving the arena. His demeanor turned from indifferent to slightly pissed off.

I don’t think Chad handled the situation all that bad, but the guy does what he does on the field because he wants recognition on and off the field. The gold teeth, the white mohawk, the countless endzone celebrations, they are all for a reason; he wants to be recognized. And once he gets his due recognition, he acts like a total douchebag? I just didn’t expect that from him.

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That guy who wants to sell you cars… he’s trying to kill your stadium.

Norman Braman, millionaire, overall cantankerous asshat, is getting on his soapbox claiming that the Miami council is wasting money that was supposed to be used for the poor on a Marlins stadium among other projects.

“These property taxes were intended for the poor,” said the millionaire businessman. “The Marlins are not poor.”

Um, has this guy SEEN their payroll? In the comparative sense of the Major League Baseball caste system, the Marlins are the untouchables; begging for handouts at every corner and willing to sell anything they have on the cheap like Bub’s Depot.

Apparently this guy has Lincoln memorabilia all over his office and tries to be an “everyman”. I know why he wants this money going to the “poor”, he’s hoping they waste it on one of his crappy cars. I’m on to you Braman, and Marlins fans should boycott his dealerships.

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This was supposed to be my ultimate week of sports. I attended the Heat-Cavs game Monday night, and watched D. Wade absolutely manhandle LeBron. LeBron’s supporting cast sure can carry that team, for all the discredit they receive. But as it was, the Heat lost, thus tying the Dolphins losing streak of 14 games on the season. Last night, I watched as the Miami Hurricanes get worked by the Tarheels of UNC. UNC’s speed was ultimately too much for us to handle, as everytime they took possession they were up the court in three seconds. Tonight, I’ll be in attendance as the Heat face off with the San Antonio Spurs. I don’t even know what I’m rooting for at this point? Oh, maybe for Shaq to do something in the second, third, and fourth quarters. Please don’t ever tell me that Wade has a benefit by having Shaq, because of his presence! At this point, Shaq is only a hindrance, and doesn’t give three shits about winning. Regardless, Go Heat!!!

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