“Wanna sit on daddy’s lap??”

Artie Moreno has had it with the Marlins.

First they act all into the relationship, calling all the time, ready to go all the way.

Then WAM!

“We’re just not ready, this is a huge step”

“I just want a date for prom,” said the really old Angels owner. “But no, they keep sluttin’ it up, trying to get someone better… well you know what, I’ve had it. Corsage and limo, that should be good enough for anyone!”

Moreno has had enough, and is letting everyone know about it.

“I’ve felt we had a deal with them twice,” Moreno said of the Marlins, who apparently cut bait and decided they needed more in exchange for the 24-year-old slugger.

The Marlins are playing the Dodgers, Angels, White Sox, and Juptier Hammerheads against each other for the services of Miguel Cabrera. Yet, they remain coy about the whole situation.

“We don’t comment on rumors or possible trades,” said Larry Beinfest, the Marlins’ president of baseball operations.

Damn right we don’t. The Marlins may be sluts, but they sure as hell don’t talk about it. They have standards.

[update: good article with some more specifics on a Miguelito deal over at the LA Times]