When you’re talking about someone as hefty as Miguel, any trade possibilities are sure to involve lunchroom upgrade tactics.

“Mooom, carrots again??? Hey, that guy has some sweet fruit roll-ups, lets trade future considerations on my mom’s brownies and some free quiz cheating access.”

Miguel Cabrera has surely engaged in such efforts before he was making millions of dollars. Now he can purchase all the guava pastries he desires.

“What? It’s balanced. There’s some cheese pastries in there too…”

Well, the Marlins have let it be known that their oversized fruit roll-up is available to the highest bidder. Miguel Cabrera is on the block. Though there hasn’t been much national buzz about his availability; the talks are heating up.

“Tricked again! Its called a plate, why isn’t there food on it?”

In Buster Olney’s blog from the MLB Winter Meetings, there was plenty of Miguelito…err… Miguelgordo talk:

The most interesting trade parameter mentioned is what the Marlins may ask the Dodgers for, in return for All-Star third baseman Miguel Cabrera: third baseman Andy LaRoche, minor league pitcher Clay Kershaw, and an outfielder — perhaps Matt Kemp

This is basically the dream scenario for the Marlins. The Dodgers don’t want to be thrust into obscurity by the Angels signing Alex Rodriguez, and are willing to part with three of the best young prospects in the game.

Baseball America’s Jim Calis called Clayton Kershaw “the best pitching prospect in the minors”. Matt Kempis a 23 year old outfielder who hit .342 in the majors last season. I saw him personally in Dodgertown, and the kid can rake. Andy LaRoche was ranked as the Dodgers’ best prospect in the organization last season.

The Yankees say they won’t sacrifice young pitching, but with offers like the one above from the Dodgers, it will take at least two of the big three.

Kevin Williams thinks he has what it takes to get Miguel to the Southside, but according to Jim Calis of B.A., the White Sox offer of Josh Fields, Lance Broadway, and Gio Gonzalez is “a little light” for a player of Cabrera’s caliber.

The Marlins should ask for the moon, and with good reason. Our friends over at TBL did a great statistical comparison of Alex Rodriguez to Miguel Cabrera, and the Marlins corpulent third baseman takes the cake (then proceeds to eat it).

A-Rod (2,572 at-bats)- .308 average, 148 homers, 463 RBI
Cabrera (2,694 at-bats) - .313 average, 138 homers, 523 RBI

In addition, Miggy’s got him in OBP and the two are about even in slugging. So is Cabrera the next A-Rod/Albert Pujols … minus the rabid fan base and a media market that cares? Another thing to take into consideration - A-Rod was protected in those Seattle days by Ken Griffey Jr. Cabrera? Nobody of nearly that ilk.

Not to mention that Cabrera has been hitting in one of the most cavernous parks in major league baseball, Dolphin Stadium. He should hit over 40 homers a year anywhere else. If he were to go to Chavez Ravine, expect his numbers to be about the same as in Miami. Dodgers Stadium has about the same “park factor” as Dolphin Stadium.

For the local coverage of Miguel’s trade possibilities, you gotta love the Sun Sentinel. Reporting that “Willis and Cabrera have been put on the market.”

WE LANDED ON THE MOON!

For some real reporting on the matter, you have to look towards John Hyman at SI. Miguel Cabrera will be on the left coast next season.

So Marlins’ fans; get a subscription to Baseball America, memorize prospect handbooks, maybe plan a trip to the Arizona Fall League. More than likely, the cornerstone of the team will be somewhere in those three locales. As for Miguel Cabrera, he’ll be terrorizing Southern California taco stands by January.