“Backhand volley… OR EAT BRAINS???”

 So, I was a bit hard on Andy Roddick last night. In case you missed it, I may have called him our national shame. I don’t take it back (I mean, the guy does choke… a lot). But my vitriol and vinegar may have been a bit premature. There is new evidence recently brought to my attention by Bill Dwyre of the LA Times:

“Federer came dressed in a black shirt and black socks. Those matched his black heart. When he is on the tennis court, there is no blood in it, just assassin’s fluid. “

I apologize Andy, I had no idea you were having to deal with a zombie assassin. Not someone who assassinates zombies, but a zombie that sits in a camouflaged canopy and can split skulls from 400 yards away. Zombies are vulnerable because they are lumbering stiffs, but Federer not only has a lust for brains, he can pick you off from an office window. That just isn’t fair.

 However, Andy, I’m not totally letting you off the hook. I mean, Tiger took out Ernie Els. Els is a 6′5” ogre who can wield a 9 iron with Sean McNamara-esque precision. A zombie assassin though… I can’t even fathom that kind of terror.

[thanks: LA Times your writers must play a TON of “Magic the Gathering”]